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| 19 is an Ugly Number.
When you are 19, you are not 15 and able to have a Quinceañera.
When you are 19, you are not 16 going on 17 like Liesl from "The Sound of Music".
When you are 19, you are not 17 like the Dancing Queen.
When you are 19, you are not 18 like the promiscuous girl in that Maroon 5 song.
When you are 19, you are only one year before 20. That is two decades. That is too old.
I don't want to be 19.
4 minutes left...poop =(
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| Last night: "To me, you are a musical masterpiece."
What?
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I hate house centipedes. Actually...I hate that I am so terribly afraid of house centipedes.
I hate that my room is too messy to effectively hunt them down.
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Why is it easier to talk to strangers on omegle than my own friends on AIM sometimes?
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13 down, 27 left...
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"I want you to hold me in your arms and never let me go..."
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| I love how when I updated my marker board monthly calendar/corkboard type thing, March 1st was in the first space on a Sunday. It just makes everything all neat and orderly. I always have an adjective before the month, so this time, it's Magnificent March. Last month, it was <3 Fabulous February <3 (with the hearts), and whenever I saw it, I thought of Andrea Roberts =) That made me smile.
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The other labels I had were:
Superb September!
Outrageous October! (If only Octo-mom happened in October. How great would that have been?!?)
Nebulous November!
Disastrous (because of stress; later changed to)/ Decorative December!
I was on break for most of January. I guess I might have said Jubilant January. I guess I'll have to think of less corny and more unique adjectives next year...
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This is Westminster Choir College. You cannot get sick.
I repeat. You. Can. NOT. Get. SICK. You will miss classes, you will miss concerts (and consequently fail for that ensemble), you will miss voice lessons (that you can't make up!!), you will get other people sick, you will be miserable, and school will female-dawg slap you into the next century. This is serious. Take care of yourself. PLEASE.
This is Westminster Choir College. You cannot get sick.
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Sick at Westminster: Part I
I got sick. I only missed one voice lesson and one class. I was extremely devasated about the voice lesson, but not so much about that one class. I mostly got better from that. My lungs are still busted.
I got sick again the day of a concert.
It was a Saturday. I taught my first two piano students, somewhat dizzy, but still enthusiastic. Due to a scheduling mishap (by fault of the parents, not me), I got to teach a group lesson, which was loads of fun. I was chatting with my parents about some practical needs when I paused and told them, "Hold on for just a moment." I ran upstairs. I empted every nook and cranny of my being and then some of everything into my favorite toilet in the house. I came back and said, "You were saying?" They asked, "Did you just throw up?" I said, "Yeah...yeah I did..."
I hate throwing up. I kind of cry every time I do.
That doesn't count as real crying though. Crying is still only for girls and wussies. So there.
Luckily, my third student had to cancel, giving me ample time to...well, you know.
My parents told me I shouldn't go back to school. I told them I really had to go to this concert. I had gone to every single rehearsal, even when I was sick. I kept my mouth covered, sang what I could, and marked my music and everything. EVERYTHING. I promised them that I would rest on the train, take a nap, eat nothing, and be very careful. And so I did.
I tried not to hate myself for choosing the worst smelling train compartment.
I walked back from the dinky to Westminster like a zombie through the streets of Princeton, trying not to scare the small children enjoying their treats from Thomas' Sweets.
I ran into a classmate on the way back, and told her that despite my looking like crap and throwing up, I still intended to go to the concert.
I got back to my room.
I set my alarm.
I went to sleep.
I woke up to get ready.
And I had to throw up again. Again. Tears.
And so....
I made the decision not to go and possibly ruin the concert. Also, throwing up in a toilet is better than throwing up on the floor of Bristol Chapel (I'm guessing).
I hope they don't give me a failing grade.
I cried over the fact that I couldn't go to the concert (also does not count as real crying, because I was sick). I planned crazy plans, considering the possibility of me sneaking in, or at least singing the Benediction at the very end, or listening from outside hidden in the bushes, or anything. ANYTHING. But I couldn't do anything at all.
So I prayed that they would have a fantastic concert. I had a dream in my nausea-ridden sleep that the concert was beautiful. They told me it was.
I'm glad.
And I'm devasated that I couldn't be a part of it.
Part II
My roommate also got sick. She is a very lovable, hardworking, intelligent girl. I enjoy rooming with her immensely. Everyone, especially myself, worries about her. She's kind of young. She was homeschooled. She tends to sleep between the hours of 4:00am and 8:00am. Or less. Yes. It's true. Worse sleeping habits than Esther Chen? Impossible! Or so we thought.
So of course, from constant practice in the organ rooms at crazy hours, her 110% effort into her school work, and a dozen of burdens from various things all over the place in her life that I am not at liberty to divulge...she also became sick. Very, very sick.
And our clinic...well...I don't want to talk about that. It might make me do irrational things.
I made her soup, tea, honey water...eventually, it even hurt her to swallow warm honey water. Yeah.
She had to go home. She had to go to a hospital. They tried to draw blood, but drinking fluids hurt so much, that she was dehydrated to the point where there wasn't enough blood for them to get a needle into her. Yeah.
She's better now. We're all relieved. But now she has a ton of things to deal with on top of trying to recover. Missed labs, classes might have to be dropped, making up for practice missed...
But yeah. Room 104 is telling you now. It doesn't even matter where you go to school, but if you go to Westminster Choir College...especially if you go to Westminster Choir College...sick is not an option.
So don't get sick. Ever.
I dunno, drink orange juice, or something.
The End.
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On a side note, a good friend of mine from church brought me soup on Sunday, and I was so happy and my stomach was kind of empty (though I was not necessarily hungry, which should have given me a clue), so I drank it, and then I threw up again. Again. Tears.
I think I'm okay now. I guess this boosts my weight loss plan (which has been going well, actually).
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Well. I haven't typed stuff like that in a long time.
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Did I mentioned that I made makeshift curtains for my closet?
It's where I change and stuff.
Too bad the "smoker's bench" from across the Great Plains has a great view.
Glad I realized it.
Glad I made the curtains.
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I had a snow day, today!
Mondays are my worst day, so it was perfect.
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I love 30 Rock. Just wanted to say.
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I also love my family. It's crazy, but I love it. Consequently (right?), I also love Jesus. Maybe it should be the other way around.
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I wrote a bunch of new songs. I can't way to show some of them to some of you. I think at least one of you will like one of them.
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This entry is too long. That's not what she said.
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| "....long time passing..."
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I love that song.
I guess I have a thing for oldies because of my mom.
I especially like John Denver.
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I wish I had done better first semester. I think I fulfilled all of my scholarship requirements. I think I can also take a class at Princeton with my GPA, but I still wish I had done better.
I have to learn 8 songs for voice lessons.
I have to learn 2 songs for piano.
I think I'm supposed to read a book for the honors seminar, too.
I think I have time.
I hope I have time.
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I don't remember too much about my first semester. People back at home think I'll have lots of stories to tell, since I'm going to school for music and such. I guess I do, but I'd rather spend less time telling stories about when I was away, and focus more about enjoying home.
What do I remember?
- Awesome roommate.
- Awesome floor.
- Taming squirrels to the extent that I can now whistle a particular whistle and have them run all the way from the other side of campus to find me so I can feed them peanuts.
- Getting out of Intro/Mus I with my AP Music Theory score (THE HEEZY?!?)
- Passing Mus II!
- Learning how to play the cello.
- Midnight excursions to Princeton to see the holiday lights.
- Walking to the train station.
- Getting rides to the train station =)
- Going home every Saturday to work so that I can pay off my loans without burdening my parents.
- Becoming a librarian at a very nice music library (seriously, Talbott is insane. You should come look around. It has more than just vocal scores). Almost getting fired. Not getting fired. Hopefully getting rehired next semester?
- Solfege.
- Tomato choir? (our robes are red)
- Strange encounters with drunk people.
- Harmonizing a lot.
- MOUSE IN MY DORM ROOM T_T
- Hoagie Haven/Princeton Record Exchange/Booster Juice
- Free Indian food say what??
- Baking.
- Mewtwo.
- (Not baking Mewtwo.)
- Building a snowman at midnight.
- Working with an amazing albeit crazy voice teacher who made me discover once and for all that I am not an alto. (High F??)
- Doing lots of nerdy music stuff.
- Having deep conversations whilst sitting on dryers waiting for last minute laundry to finish.
- Church life.
- Recitals
- Sucking at Super Smash.
- Sucking even more at Mario Kart.
- Seeing a glimpse of how much I can accomplish when I work hard.
Yeah...it's been pretty fab, actually.
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I've been enjoying everyone else's xanga entries; I've forgotten what it feels like to write one myself.
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I can't believe my dad's paying me to lose weight.
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I can't believe it's actually working.
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I can't believe it's not butter!
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I know you saw that coming.
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It's kind of funny that I'm too lazy to download songs or buy them off of iTunes to the point where I just bookmark videos that have the songs I like on YouTube and watch them over and over again. I think it'd be best if I learned how to rip audio off of Internet videos.
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Okay, even I think he's cute. Doesn't that say something?
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Going to California for a week for the Winter Training was wonderful, but I feel like I didn't get to see a lot of friends as much as I wanted to =(
Spring break?
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My hands are dry. I should start washing the dishes wearing gloves....
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I'm going to beat Kevin Nguyen in every category of Facebook Tetris before I turn 19, and Rob Won before I turn 25.
Just watch me.
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Does anyone know of any good acoustic guitars I could get for around 500 bucks?
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| I'm working.
At a library.
Thursday nights are pretty slow.
I've shelved all the books.
I have a little over an hour to go
I've just about finished my theory homework.
I have tons of things to do after I'm done.
Piano.
Cello.
Ask David to help me with my down comforter.
Borrow a sweater vest.
Look at a laptop bag.
Pack for the weekend.
Curl my hair?
But time moves slowly here.
I feel like whenever I enter the library, time stops.
But it doesn't.
The night is not as young as I feel it is when I leave.
The Office will have to wait for online reruns.
I love my legwarmers.
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I have convinced myself that I am not fit to be a theory/composition major.
That doesn't mean I can't compose.
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Can I really handle two theory classes at the same time?
I should probably get some more manuscript paper.
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I sang a high F today.
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I did not get to feed any squirrels today.
I normally do.
They remind me of Stephanie all the way in Illinois.
It's kind of like therapy for me.
They like me.
Maybe I will create a squirrel army.
And if you mess with me, you'll find yourself waking up the next morning with a circle of peanuts around you. A cage door will open, someone will whistle a G flat, and that will be the last thing you ever hear. Ever.
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"I love Jersey in the autumn.
The trees catch fire as the greens melt into red and gold.
My skin gets goosebumps as the cold air fills my chest,
And I smile even though my insides feel cold
It's a catharsis to see the world so clear and colorful and bright
And it's like magic to me.
If only we would all take the time, take a moment just to
Look up and open our eyes...
I love it in the winter.
The world starts over on a clean page of clean white snow.
The fire on the trees is quenched with white embraces
And everything seems to sparkle and glow.
It's a catharsis to see the world so clean and wonderful and bright
And it's like magic to me.
If only we would all take the time, take a moment just to
Look up and open our eyes..."
It's in G major. I think it's kinda pretty. I'll finish writing it sometime soon I hope.
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It's funny how he's the one I think about when I have to sing about love....
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I wish I looked good with a kebab.
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